I grew up with a bit of an overdose of Protestant work ethic: you must be productive. The Devil makes work for idle hands. Being lazy is a terrible thing. Do something useful.
As I have been learning to live with PTSD, I’ve had plenty of trouble with these beliefs. I want to do things, I want to be productive … but I also need to rest. I really need to pace myself, or there are unpleasant consequences for everyone. But when I rest, when I listen to my body and do only the things I feel up to on any given day, I feel like I haven’t done anything useful, like I haven’t been productive. And I feel awful about that.
But the truth is, I’ve actually done plenty. I never just sit. I putter about doing a bit of this and a bit of that: knitting, or weaving, or spinning, or baking, or gardening, or sweeping the floors, or doing a load of wash. I do stuff. Just not the stuff that was on my to-do list for the day.
I’m randomly productive.
This shawl was designed for my beautiful therapist, who helped me to realize this fact. The design celebrates randomness in colour, texture, and shape … yet despite relinquishing control over the details, despite purposely not planning everything out in detail, it makes a completely wearable and absolutely one-of-a-kind shawl.
Good things can happen when you just follow your heart.
You can get it here.