01 March 2015

Just sedate me

I don't sleep well. Even with the sedatives. Well, I sleep but I dream and wake weary from all I have seen and done in my sleep. 

I an out of sorts in my waking hours..
 Off kilter, like a squirrel who's had too much caffeine. 

And at the same time, I am tired and just want to lie down. 

I thought this would go away when I made peace with my past. 

Trouble is, my past damaged my brain. Peace helps ease the emotional pain... But the cognitive impairment seems unaffected.  

My counsellor told me that prolonged stress causes the brain hemispheres to stop talking to each other properly. Left brain gets on with life... Right brain encapsulates the trauma and you just keep on keeping on. 

I'm walking the fine line between acceptance and hopelessness. 


  1. Hopelessness is never "the end"... acceptance, adjustments and grace, undeserved favor, gets us to the next point - there is never clear sailing to the end of the tunnel of life, but grace abounds - I know!

    1. Thanks mom.
      Its a weary journey.


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